Naked clothing

No Naked Dressing? How Will Stars Make News?

The Cannes Film Festival is getting more covered-up — and just in time for the opening ceremony honoring the octogenarian Robert De Niro. Bella Hadid, newly blonde, is already in town, and stars expected include Halle Berry, Scarlett Johansson and Emma Stone. But anyone expecting one of the most reliable moves on the red carpet might be disappointed. The new dress code for gala screenings includes the admonition, “for decency reasons, nudity is prohibited on the red carpet, as well as in any other area of the festival.”

Cue a crisis in the fashion-film industrial complex. After all, nowhere has the naked dress been more of a presence than at Cannes ...

I find it depressing that (1) it's always only the women who are expected to shop their wares in public, and that (2) their worth seems to depend soley on how much wood their body parts can inspre.

If this scenario, seen even at the gala for the Metropolitan Museum, is really considered a worthy evaluation system, where then are the "naked pants" for the men? How can the public tell if male luminaries are worthy celebrities if we isn't allowed to examine and rate their low hanging fruit?

Silly me, I forgot. That would be pointless, because men are evaluated on their accomplishments, and only women are evalusted on their f*ckability.

We really are just a bunch of monkeys.