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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

The Field Where I Died



Can't sleep. Watching an old X-Files episode in which Agent Mulder meets a woman who he comes to believe he knew in a past civil-war-era lifetime. They were separated back then by death, when he was shot ... and also in the present, when she kills herself. Below is some of their dialogue from the show ...

***

At times I almost dream
I too have spent a life the sages way
And tread once more familiar paths
Perchance I perished in an arrogant self-alliance an age ago
And in that act a prayer
for one more chance went up so earnest so...
Instinct with better light let in by death
that life was blotted out not so completely
But scattered wrecks enough of it to remain
dim memories
As now when seems
once more
The goal in sight again
- Mulder

For the first time I feel time like a heartbeat
The seconds pumping in my breast like a reckoning
The numinous mysteries that once seemed so distant and unreal
Threatening clarity in the presence of a truth
Entertained not in youth,
But only in its passage.
I feel these words as if their meaning were weight being lifted from me
Knowing that you will read them and share my burden
As I have come to trust no other
That you should know my heart,
Look into it finding there the memory and experience that belong to you,
That are you
Is a comfort to me now
As I feel the tethers loose
And the prospects darken for the continuance of a journey
That began not so long ago
And which began again with a faith shaken
And strengthened by your convictions
If not for which I might never have been so strong now
As I cross to face you and look at you
incomplete
Hoping that you will forgive me
for not making the rest of the journey with you.
- the woman he knew


9 Comments:

Blogger PV said...

i think sleep problems are caused of weather too.should be very hot there at you.:-).
here is also very hot. a colleague of mine said that she fainted due to this. i am sitting indoors with the ventilator on, i drink lots of water and move as little as possible.:-).

10:07 AM  
Blogger crystal said...

Hi Paula, here it has been around 100 ... typical weather for this time of year. If global warming ever gets here, we'll be cooked :-)

12:00 PM  
Blogger PV said...

:-).

12:13 PM  
Blogger PV said...

Crystal have you seen: The Exorcism of Emily Rose? Many people say that is good. But creepy. Steven from Flos Carmeli has a post on it.
http://floscarmeli.stblogs.org/
Just scroll down a bit, if you want to read it.

12:21 PM  
Blogger crystal said...

I haven't seen it, but I saw Ebert's review of it on tv ... he thought it was quite good. Once I looked up stuff about exorcism for a story I was writing, and the subject was interesting ... the Devils of Loudon by Huxley, a mention of JPII doing a bit of exorcism :-), and that movie The Exorcist being based on a real occurance, etc.

12:32 PM  
Blogger PV said...

JPII has done a bit of exorcism? New for me but I am not amazed. It sounds like him. After nazis, communists, terrorists etc. only the devil was left.:-). (you know that i love JPII so you will indulge me).

1:06 PM  
Blogger PV said...

Crystal, related with our last exchange of emails...have you seen the movie "In this House of Brede ?".
Ok,last question for today.:-)

1:17 PM  
Blogger crystal said...

No, I haven't seen that movie. I like Diana Rigg ... Mrs. Peel :-)

Here's what I saw about JPII ...

According to a New York Post article of 19 February 2002, John Paul II personally performed three exorcisms during his tenure as pope. The first exorcism was performed on a woman in 1982. His second was in September 2000 when he performed the rite on a nineteen-year-old woman who had become enraged in St Peter's Square. A year later, in September 2001, he performed an exorcism on a twenty-year-old woman. - link

1:48 PM  
Blogger PV said...

Thanks for the link about JPII...i will added it at my JPII collections of quotes, articles, pictures, links...:-).

1:56 PM  

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