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Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The fires

Very smoky here today because of the fires ...



It's really hard to think about all of the people and animals killed in the fires - burned alive. Things like this make me wonder what Christians believe about a God who lets such suffering happen. When I say my prayers at night and ask that all my loved ones be safe, I have to wonder what the point of doing that is. Does God care about us? Does he even exist?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Dyan said...

Hi Crystal,

I've been pondering your post for a little while now. I wrote an essay on this topic in grade 12 as part of my graduation requirements so it's something I've also struggled and wrestled with over the years. My personal conviction is that yes, God exists and cares about us! I believe prayer is a method for strengthening our relationship with him; to me it is simply communicating with God. I approach prayer like my best friend is always with me and I talk with him continually. And that communication includes my anger and fear, sadness and joy and all my many questions.

In my own experience, one of the worst things that happened to me, the miscarriage of my first child, was also the closest I have ever felt to Jesus. I was sitting in the emergency room praying and begging God to save my baby. Then I lost consciousness from pain and blood loss. When that happened I had the most amazing vision of Jesus; I can't even begin to describe the love and peace I felt. I never wanted to return to my earthly life, all I wanted was to stay with him! I still lost my baby and it was incredibly devastating for me and my husband. Yet I was able to go through the miscarriage and the grief following it with an overriding peace. And I wouldn't go back and change that event because of that amazing gift God gave me.

I hope these links will help explain it better than I could: https://tabletalkmagazine.com/article/2017/08/why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people/
https://www1.cbn.com/questions/why-do-bad-things-happen-to-good-people

I know it feels pointless to pray right now. I think I can understand your sadness and frustration as I have felt it too. Maybe if you can't bring yourself to pray, just keep doing the wonderful, loving things you do. You have made a difference in my life and I am very grateful to you for that!

My hope is that Jesus will very soon make all things new again.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNzub_ZNh8k
https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/behold-i-make-all-things-new

4:48 PM  
Blogger crystal said...

Hi Dyan. Thanks for the links. Looking forward to reading them. So sorry to hear of your miscarriage. I can't imagine what it's like to lose a child. That seems like it would be the worst thing that could happen.

I've thought about this problem for a while now. Maybe it comes down to trust. If you trust someone and believe they love you and are good, when they seem to do something wrong or bad, you figure there must be a good reason and you give them the benefit of the doubt.

I don't have that trust. Maybe it's because I wasn't raised in a church or maybe because I had untrustworthy parents. I almost got there when I took that retreat and had a spiritual director - my prayer life was really good. But I couldn't completely lose the feeling I was just fooling myself. Maybe Jesus/God does exist and he has a good excuse for all the badness - I think I'll have to wait until I'm dead to understand.

9:40 AM  
Anonymous Dyan said...

I agree that trust has a huge part to play! Most of the spiritual things I struggled with were due to distrust and fear and I'm sure the root of it could be found in my upbringing. I also have an untrustworthy (not to mention selfish and manipulative) father. And I've begun to wonder about my mother and some of her behaviours too. It took me a long time to realize that was a big part of the problem.

I'm glad that you're asking the questions! Seek and ye will find ;)

6:57 PM  
Blogger crystal said...

All those years I spent in therapy helped ;) One book I read when I was trying to figure out how to pray was God and You: Prayer As a Personal Relationship by William Barry.

12:55 PM  

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